I Got To Go Out!

Time out of my home and away from my children is few and far between so I always try to document when it happens.
I got to go out with some friends/fellow young women leaders Friday night to a play one of our young women was in.
Suessical the Musical.
I'd never heard of it but it was pretty darn cute and way fun to just go be entertained.
I loved just sitting and not being needed every five seconds for a drink, or to fix a broken toy, or to take to the potty, or just to be whined at.  Thanks Kym and Jessica for not whining at me;)

We needed an extra seat so Camille volunteered to be our stow away in the luxurious "back seat" :)

Then Saturday morning I got up bright and early and headed to Springville to a bridal shower for Erin, a sister I served with from my mission.  I haven't been able to attend a lot of things where fellow missionaries have gathered since I don't live around Provo like the rest of the DC mission :)  So I was super excited that I could go to this one.  I got to spend the morning with these amazing women and can I just say how much I LOVE being around them!  They are people who truly make you feel better about yourself just by being in their company.  I was blessed to be able to serve with so many amazing sisters and have missed that uplifting feeling they offer.  You can just tell they are women of faith, strength, and sincerity.  So thank you Heather, Erin, and Mindy for just being you! 

Love them!

On my drive home I had time to think to myself and was just so grateful for the little tender mercies of that weekend. I actually had positive uplifting thoughts of my own!

That may sound a little ridiculous to some of you, but positive thoughts aren't often voluntarily floating through my mind. I am regularly fighting off those demons of "I'm not good enough" and "What do I have to offer?"

so hearing myself say "I'm ok."  "I am doing ok and I can continue doing ok." was very empowering.  I came home refreshed and ready to conquer to role of stay-at-home-mother.

Guess I need to get out more!

A Family Casualty and Resurrection

If you read THIS post about our family member Bears you will understand the travesty we experienced a couple weeks ago.

I ran downstairs on cue to a toe curling scream and subsequent sobbing from a heart broken Leilani.  Through her crocodile tears she said, "Bears got broken!"

Sure enough Bears got too close to the fire and became a burn victim.

His injuries were severe and my heart broke with her as I tried to explain there wouldn't be a whole lot I could do to fix him.  

I immediately went to the internet in search of a replacement which we should have done as soon as we found out how attached she was to it, but alas all the ones that looked even close were around $50-$70, a little out of our price range.

That night for bedtime I tried to give him to her, but she refused.  He was as good as dead as far as she was concerned.

Well, the "Fix it Felix" in me kicked in and I made a trip to the fabric store.  $7 and a few stitches later we had this

I'd say it was a much needed improvement.  Perhaps this self destructive act was a silent outcry from Bears for a well deserved make-over.

Sisters Time Out

Otherwise known as The Bishop Girl's Fantastic February Fweekend!

I'm going to embarrass my sisters for a moment, and I'm actually really looking forward to it;)

Towards the end of February, we had ALL my sisters come and hang out for a sisters weekend.

It had been a long time since we did this, just the sisters.  No children or husbands, just some good ol' girl bonding. We had such a great time!

Friday morning we created our own sweat shop and made cute little scripture totes to send to my parents in South Africa to give away to the people they meet.

Callie, Tiffany, Natalie, Melanie, Sandee (our honorary sister for the weekend:)

Taralie, (TJ) Me, and Allison

recreated family photo:

Umm...Callie fits into her 9th grade dance dress.  I don't think that's ok. She's had 4 kids!

That night we ate at Roosters on 25th street in Ogden.  We were all quite pleased with our meals (If only Tara's had just a few more coconut shrimp:) and we never fail to impress our waiters of our platter licking skills.  We may be girls but we know how to empty a plate.

With satisfied tummies we headed over to the Ben Lomond Suites for our night-o-fun.

I've lived in Ogden practically my entire life and have never once been in this building.  It's actually very beautiful.  It reminded me of a small scale Joseph Smith Memorial Building.

We have started a tradition that when a sister turns fierce, fabulous, and forty they get a quilt block wall hanging symbolizing the qualities we admire and love about them.  We each separately make a block and then piece them together.  This year was Tiffany's turn and it was so special to all be together to watch her open it.

Quilt blocks from top to bottom:

Melanie: gardening, Natalie: faith, Monica: family/children/foster care

Mom: sewing, Middle: Happy 40th, Callie: sisters

Allison: artistic, Dad: trumpet, Tara: body, mind, and spirit

These next photos are too good to pass up even though I may get some serious repercussions for posting them on the internet:)

We carried on the rest of the night question and answering each other and keeping ourselves awake with various spa treatments.  

I don't even know:)

When we were tired enough, we felt it a good time to make fools of ourselves by playing reverse charades.

We also played a bishop girl trivia game created by Callie and then talked until we eventually dropped off one by one.

AND since we had no children to wake us up we got to sleep in:)  There was a yummy breakfast provided by the hotel and then we all gathered around the computer to skype with my mom and dad.  We did get a "family picture" but I haven't been able to locate the camera that took it yet:)

We then met up with Targhee, Tony, and Jeff (the husbands who live in Utah) and attended a session at the Brigham City Temple and lunch at the Idle Isle.

I'm so grateful to be a part of such an incredible family.  I'm grateful that we make time to spend together.  I cannot say enough how much I love and admire these women.  I have aspired to follow in their footsteps my entire life.  They are all very strong, successful mothers who are firm in the gospel and are examples to all around them.

Hopefully we don't have to wait another 10 years to do this again.

My Conference Lesson

I love General Conference weekend!

I remember the first time I really looked forward to it was as a missionary.  I ate up every word!  Afterward, we had a meeting with my mission president who asked if we enjoyed it.  When we all enthusiastically exclaimed we loved it, his response was, "You guys are weird!"  I remember being slightly taken back that he'd be calling his little army of missionaries weird, but then when you think about it, we are!!

How many people would honestly say that they loved sitting and listening to 8 hours (10 for the men) of lecture?  I never did before.  We truly are a peculiar people.  But it's not exactly the 8 hours of lecture that is exciting.  In fact, I have been put to sleep more times than I care to mention by these wonderful men's soft lulling voices.  

So, no, it's not the sitting for 8 hours that I love, but the feeling I get when I here truth. And General Conference is packed full of it!

I am a person who doesn't carry much faith in my own abilities.  Something I am working on.  I would like to believe that I have talents and skills to offer others and most importantly my children, but often times am discouraged when I continually fall short.

Conference seems to change that.

I get the feeling that the leaders of our Church truly believe in us.  Truly believe that we can achieve great things individually and as a whole because they know who they put their faith in.

Our Savior.

The feeling that someone else believes in me is something I crave.  I require validation.  It's like hitting the refresh button every 6 months.  So yes, I look forward to it, and yes, I was definitely needing it this weekend.

Well, let me tell you how THIS particular conference went.

Targhee had to work Saturday morning and as much of a bummer that is, it is the reality of our life right now. 

So I get the kids up and ready and set up my computer in front of a work table right in the middle of the play room thinking how brilliant a plan that was.  I would be with the kids in their element.  They would be happily playing around at my feet and conference would just be going on in the background.  I can hear you laughing already.

We had prepared Leilani the night before getting her excited that the prophet was going to speak to us.  It worked.  She woke up and said, "Is it time? Is he here?"  I realized she misunderstood and explained that we would just be listening to him on the computer.  She ran into the playroom and listened for a few minutes saying things like "He said Heavenly Father."  "I pray too!" But her sweet little three year old enthusiasm was soon encompassed by boredom. 

TJ, on the other hand, never once caught the excitement.  All I had to do was print out my "conference packet" for him to start whining.  Just the very appearance that my attention would be directed elsewhere brought his little one year old self into despair. 

It was 11:00am.  A whole hour since the beginning of conference when we all lost it.

I picked up TJ and tossed him (lightly) in his crib (for "time out") then went to my own room and shut the door for my own time out, all in one swift movement.  I proceeded the bawl hysterically while hearing TJ do the same and Leilani whining in confusion of what just happened.  I didn't understand.  Why, when I had such a righteous desire to hear the words of the Prophet in order to be a better mother, was I failing horribly at that very thing?  I prayed for guidance.  What do I do now Lord?

"Turn off Conference."

WHAT?? 

But when I tried to protest, I was reminded that this was not the only chance I would get to listen to it.  There would be the Ensign and the mormonchannel that would have their talks word for word for me to review at a more spiritually conducive time.

I slowly got up, collected myself, turned off conference and took my children outside.

As I now ponder on this experience I realize that the Lord is trying to teach me a valuable lesson.  My children are the most important thing in my life right now and even more than that, they are the most important thing to Him.  Whatever personal agendas I may have are irrelevant when it comes to the needs of my children. 

Boy that's a hard thing for me. And I'm afraid I will be learning this lesson over and over throughout my life.

But, as difficult as being a mother is, I am grateful for these learning opportunities that help me grow in understanding of our Heavenly Father's will and love for his children.

I was also able to watch the afternoon session much more peacefully during TJ's nap:)
My perspective is so limited.

I know we have a Heavenly Father who watches over us and understands our desires and needs.  He answers our prayers, even if it is not in the way we had originally planned on.  His way is always greater.